In the 4077th's mess tent during breakfast, things were as grim as could be. The only bright spot was the three-day lull in the fighting. But that was all about to change. And even become a little more bleak.
Hawkeye examined a strip of bacon. "Does anyone need a good band for their watch? Here's a great one right here."
"This is either starting to grow on me, or it's getting worse." B.J. shoved his breakfast tray away. "I don't know which is..." His words were cut off when suddenly the table was rocked from underneath. "What in the world?"
"Whoa! The rats are getting bigger! A huge one just moved past my foot."
A head abruptly popped up at the end of the table. "No rats, it is I."
"Flagg!" Hawkeye exclaimed and scooted away as the Colonel Sam Flagg, Army Intelligence officer, pulled himself out from the table. "What are you doing? Adding to your gum collection? You need some kind of adhesive to hold your brain together. One piece should be enough."
"I need to see if you two, or anyone else in this camp is aware of any questionable activity."
B.J. indicated the floor beneath the table. "That's the place to find it."
"Of what activity? I can't believe I'm even asking."
He pointed a finger in Hawkeye's face. "Don't play dumb. I know you know what you shouldn't know yet, but already do know it."
Hawkeye resisted the urge to take a bite out of that finger. "I already know I'm getting a headache."
"And you too..." The Colonel glared toward B.J., then pulled out his little notepad and shot a glance at it. "Hunnicutt."
"Listen to that, Hawk. He knows my name, and I bet he knows that I know it, too."
"I know that you were going to say something, and I have an idea what it would be before you even said it."
"And that is...?"
The Colonel leaned close. "The Ambassador."
"Ahh, the Ambassador.." Hawkeye and B.J. said in unison. B.J. ventured further. "Isn't that a singing group?"
Potter joined them, with Radar after him. "Colonel, what are you doing in here? You're supposed to report to me before doing anything."
"I'm the one reported to."
"Not here, you aren't."
"Colonel... Potter." Hawkeye couldn't help a smirk to Flagg before he addressed his CO. "Is what this MacArthur wanna-be talking about for real?"
"I'm afraid so. We just got the call in from I-Corps. An Ambassador Green from the UN will be stopping by here tomorrow. He's spending the night with us before heading out to Tokyo."
"Why do we have the honor?"
"It's due in part to you, Pierce. You and Hunnicutt both."
Frank carried his tray to the table and sat down. "What about me, sir?"
"Yeah, you too, Burns." Potter forced a smile. "Well, anyways, this Green fellow has heard of this camp's 97%, and up I might add, efficiency rate, and he wants to take a look for himself while in these parts. Seems like his father was a surgeon during WW2."
"So this is actually a hobby for him to be coming here?"
"Something of that sort."
"I don't think that is the real reason." Flagg got a faraway look in his eyes. "It's just what he wants you to believe."
"And just what do you presume to be the reason?" B.J. asked with a cheshire cat grin.
"That's for me to know, and only me."
Hawkeye slapped the table. "Oh, you're saying that this Ambassador doesn't even know?"
"All right, Colonel," Potter interceded quickly, hoping to avoid a confrontation. "I really don't know why you feel the need to be here to greet Ambassador Green, and since he won't be here until tomorrow, you are welcome to stay in the VIP tent until then."
"Unnecessary. I don't need sleep."
"He just hangs upside down inside the nearest cave."
"Quiet, Pierce!" Frank retorted smoothly. "Colonel Flagg knows what needs to be done."
"I doubt that."
Radar snickered along with the others, then grew silent. "Uh-oh.." Two seconds later the announcement came over the PA about ambulances in the compound. Everyone sprung into action and raced outside. The casualties were light, but there had been a house shelled nearby and its occupants were brought along with the military wounded.
The surgical staff and the nurses began getting the most critical into Pre-Op first. "I wonder if this wave of casualties is gonna put a dent in Flagg's scheme to have a perfect order?"
"Hunnicutt!" The Colonel suddenly popped up at B.J.'s right shoulder.
"Ahhh!!!"
"I can cite you for insubordination."
"Can you put in the thumb screws on the run?" An exasperated B.J. hurried into the scrub room.
All during the session in OR, Flagg hovered by the window in the door. He carefully watched all the goings-on in the room.
Potter began to close his first patient. "What is he expecting to find in here?"
"I got it!" B.J. announced brightly. "He's sure one, or probably all of the wounded in here are somehow concealing the UN guy himself!"
"He's moved on from collecting gum to shrapnel now." Hawkeye threw the latest bit taken from his patient into the metal container.
For nearly the entire five hours of surgery that had been spent in the OR, Flagg remained by the door. Only moving away once to scrutize Klinger when he passed by in his nurses' garb.
Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt felt just a bit of guilt when they quickly exited from the changing room and left Colonel Potter to field Flagg's questions and insinuations.
The next hour was spent hiding out in the mess tent. "Finally, perhaps a little peace for a while?" Hawkeye let out a deep breath as he and B.J. stepped from the tent into the 4077th's quiet compound.
"Shhh.. don't say that. You know Flagg, he considers peace a dirty word."
In that instant, a supply truck pulled the camp. "What ever could this possibly be?" Pierce and Hunnicutt walked over to where the corpsmen were unloading a tall, upright locker. "This must be for that Ambassador."
They circled around the ornate chest. "Now, he's just supposed to be here for one night?" B.J. shook his head.
"I reckon we'll find that out when he arrives." Hawkeye signed the receipt for the delivery. He held up his hands as he yelled to some nearby corpsmen. "You can see to this, can't you? Delicate instruments here."
"Yessir."
Colonel Potter checked the chart on the sleeping Gunnery Sergeant in Post-Op. He was acutely aware of his fellow Colonel shadowing his every move. Try as he might, he couldn't get through to Flagg that Ambassador Green was due to arrive tomorrow and wasn't a patient in there. More than a couple of times Potter had to get him to back off from one of the wounded. Even the Korean casualties weren't safe.
Hawkeye and B.J. headed toward the Post-Op ward. "It's good that Flagg isn't going to stay in the VIP tent." Hawk continued when B.J. gave a puzzled look. "It won't have to be fumigated for this diplomat."
"Ha-ha! Yep, would probably need a couple of sprayings for..."
Colonel Flagg abruptly came out the doors as the Captains were about to enter. "Ah, still lurking around?"
"Why don't you go find a nice, safe nursing home stateside somewhere? They are always in need of people with your demeanor and tact."
The Colonel ignored the jibe. "As it looks, this Green has not been brought in as a patient."
"Really? Are you sure he's not disguised as the Korea woman whose house got hit with mortarfire?"
"That's supposed to be cute?" Flagg snapped. "I don't like cuteness."
"Well, there goes your subscription to Miss America Quarterly."
"Why on earth would you think he'd be a patient here?" B.J. didn't hide his irritation. "I'm sure he's gonna come into camp with his own ticker-tape parade or something."
"It'd be just like one of those high officials to try and put one past me. They believe they're that smart."
Hawkeye and B.J. exchanged incredulous expressions, and to keep from laughing too much in Flagg's face, they went on into Post-Op before hearing more nonsense from the Colonel. There along with Potter, they saw that the Korean family were doing nicely, and would recover. Although, since what had happened to their hut, they were somewhat displaced at the time.
Radar entered the ward and hurried up to Potter. "Colonel, the Ambassador's locker is already been put in the VIP tent but..."
"That's what you're suppose to do, son." Potter took another look at Radar's worried face. "But what..?"
"Sir, this just came for you." He handed him a telegram. "The Ambassador isn't coming."
"Ambassador Green isn't coming here!" Potter read from the paper.
"He's stuck in Seoul." Radar offered up.
"He's still in Seoul," Potter repeated, then gave Radar a quieting glare. "He has been delayed and cannot make it here. He expresses his regrets, and requests that his locker be sent on to Kimpo for rerouting to Tokyo instead."
Hawkeye let out a snort. "Oh no! Just as we're in the middle shampooing all of the red carpets in South Korea."
Potter turned to his company clerk. "Radar, see if you can..."
"I'll radio the truck to get back here on the double to pick..." he said, as he ran out the door. "Back up.. the Ambassador's.. locker..."
Colonel Flagg waited until the corpsmen had exited the VIP tent. He had watched them carry a rather large locker inside and realized it must be from the Ambassador. Once they were clear, he slipped into the tent himself to investigate.
With a small pocketknife, he had the door to the locker opened in no time. "A couple of shirts... Boots... " He pulled out the articles and briefly inspected them. "Ahh.. books. What could be hidden in these?" As Flagg went to retrieve the journals, he heard a sudden noise right outside the door.
"We gotta. The truck's back." Precisely as the tent door opened, Flagg in desperation not to be found out, slipped soundlessly into the locker.
"I guess this is it." Goldman indicated the tall wardrobe. "It's not closed." He quickly snapped it shut. "Catch that end."
Igor took a good hold on the box and lowered the top end down as Goldman lifted the bottom up. "Ain't the lightest thing."
"You can say that again." They quickly carried the locker out and to the waiting truck. With a big effort, the corpsmen heaved it on the back with a hearty thud.
"Umph!"
"Huh?" A puzzled Goldman looked at Igor.
Straminsky brushed off his hands. "I didn't say anything." They hurried off to the O'Club before another task could be assigned to them.
Hawkeye, B.J. and Frank met up in the compound just as the truck was starting to pull out. A muffled shout of what sounded like "Hey!" rang back to the officers.
Pierce gestured toward the truck. "Practicing your ventriloquism again, Frank? Don't you do that best with your patients?"
"Or Major Houlihan?" B.J. had to laugh.
"Oh shut it! Is Colonel Flagg around?"
"Haven't seen hide nor hair of him in the past half hour, and we don't want to."
"He's 'The Wind,'" Hunnicutt tried to explain with a straight face. "So he's probably gone with it."
"That was awful." But as he said it, Hawkeye couldn't help but laugh. B.J. shrugged with amusement himself.
"You, you guys!" A disgusted Frank stomped off, while Hawkeye and B.J. made their way into the Swamp to take a load off from what was known as one of those full, rich days.
The End :)
